Happy Wheels – Part 1 | THIS GAME IS MY BITCH
Happy Wheels – Part 1 | THIS GAME IS MY BITCH


Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye, and WELCOME TO HAPPY WHEELS! Yeah! I finally got around to playing it, I have never once played Happy Wheels before in my life. Ever! Seriously! I’ve NEVER played it, I’ve never even TRIED to play it, But I have seen a lot of videos of it, and I know what kind of game it is and I know what it’s all about… Uh, but this is a game that I’ve– I’ve wanted to play for a while–I’ve wanted to put up on the channel for a while, but–I don’t know why I kept putting it off but here I am now! Let’s go play okay– I’m gonna go to the user created levels because those are apparently the BEEST… Uh BMX stunt, right off that bat. That’s what caught my eye. I have absolutely no idea how to play this game. Oh my God! Ahhh.. I can do it, I can do it! Oh, I can’t do it, oh! Just— keep going! This seems rather easy, s-should something not be trying to kill me? Oh God… Oh God! This is trying to kill me- OH NO! OH NO LITTLE BILLY! (you won’t love him for long) Oh Billy nohoho… Oh I lost… I lost my little boy. Backflips! Backflips like a BOSS! Okay, your head kind of went into the wheel there for a second… GO GO!!! He’s pedalin’ like a muhfuckah *Stunned silence* What-what the? YEAH! Finished it first try, didn’t even die! First time to ever play Happy Wheels LIKE A BOSS! I’ll go with Billy and Bobby on the bike again… “Another 10 Ways To Die” I still don’t know what the first ones were! O-Oh my God! I’M SORRY! THE GAME MADE ME DO IT! That was… That was awesome… But it was so bad! “Super Impossible”? Well we’ll just see about that now, shall we? Agh! I don’t know how to pogo! I don’t know how to pogo! How do- How do I pogo? How do- How do I- How do I- Ah! There we go! That’s- *interrupted by Jack breaking a game… Again…* Oh my God… Oh my God I might just actually have like, broken the game… Oh, oh, nope there you go! How do I…? AH! GET OVER IT! Uh… I’m ins-YEAHHHHH! YEAHHHHH! FUCK YOU GAME! I BROKE YOUR SHIT AND I WON! “Super Impossible” my a-hole! Okay here we go, oh oh nupe nupe, OH! OH MY GOD! YOUR LEGS CAME OFF! OH!!! *scared noises* I’M SO SORRY! It’s probably because you’re fat and you can’t fit down between them! Blame you, bitch. Oh, oh, oh so good, oh so good! AAAAAHHHH! NOT SO GOOD! Oh… I made it down… But just in several hundred pieces… I will not be bested by this. Oh, too fast! *noises of disgust* Just like this… blap OH MY ASS! Ohohohohoh… Ohh I did it again, I’m sorry Betty-AAAH! It’s cause you have big fat tits! Okay, no you’re fine, you’re fine, Betty, YOU’RE FINE! YEAH! YEAHHHHH! THAT’S HOW WE ROLL! Naked girl? And it’s in capital letters, you know it’s good. Oh… Rate five coin things… Five Egyptian hieroglyphics… And she will spawn naked and sucking your private… I’m going backwards, I’m going towards the secret. *yet another quiet gasp* YOU DICK! LOOK AT BILLY! LOOK AT BILLY YOU PINNED HIM TO THE WALL! Bobby’s got bolts (you mean harpoons?) up his ass… Oh, I’m gonna kill this bitch. DIE! Yeah. *jackigiggles* There’s someone sitting on the toilet back there. Oh! Oh Billy, your arm! It’s okay, you didn’t need them anyway, you were going to be a soccer player, not a baseball player! Walalalalala Ahhh… Do it! YEAH! BACKFLIPS! I don’t think I was supposed to be out there… Okay! Next level! *mcjack is not lovin’ it* (When you gross the fuck out of Jack, he looks like this.) Oh, it’s like soil and green! Oh! How the-How the hell do I get into the box? *chicken jackaboy* AH NO! *DEAD* Oh… Sorry-Sorry Bobby… Billy. Which one are you? Bobby. You’re Bobby. Can I like, grab with my hands or something? Nope! Ah! How do I… How do I… How do I… 🎶 How do I live… Without you… 🎶 Do the worm! Breakdancin’ Billy! Bobby… Ah! Oh I CAN grab! Space is to grab! This changes the rules of everything! *training for abs of steel* *panting after that hard workout* *now he’s just making sounds XD* Everyone do the Magikarp! Everyone do the Magikarp! Ooh… We could be in a great position here… Flop those arms, little Billy-Bobby… YE-HA-HA-HA-AH! YEAH! That is how you make this game your BITCH! What the hell is a sword throw? That sounds amazing! It is gonn- Ohh~ *Slightly worried laughther* Lemme just get that sword out of your crotch. *grunting noises* My arm came off! You have one powerful crotch! (Daaaamn! XD) *Exaggerated throwing sounds* How are you missing everything?! I can’t even grab the sword anymore- Okay. Grab it! Got Santa, in the belly, yeah slow-motion! *Slow “bwaaaah”* How do I get the fuckers behind me? Uhh~. Like that! Oh, that was the best one! *Laughing* He can’t fit into- He can’t fit into the canon! I got them all! I did it! I win! I win the game Dude is still blowing up in the background “99.9999% Impossible” *Strange accent* “EMPOISIBERLEH?” I fucking doubt it! Jacksep- *Interrupted by explosion* I didn’t even get to finish my name! *High pitched* How the-! How in the holy balls are you supposed to do THAT?! Ye-ha-heah! Suck on that, game! OOH YOU ASS! “Obstacle course by Akhilito99” Woo-hoo! Party over here! Ooh yeah. Uh, like a boss! Like all the bosses that ever were *Worried* Woo-ho. Uhh~ Have some- Have some respect. I have a kid on board! ♪”Baby on board, something something”♪ (Nevermind) *Deep breath* No baby on board anymore, I don’t even have legs! It’s okay, you still have a face, that is all you need Nnnnnnnnnoooo… Let’s do it, Billy! Woah! Billy, I saved you! Aah! We gotta get outta this, Billy! OH-HO-HO-HO NO! I’m still good, right? Right? x1 Right? x2 Right? x3 Right? x4 (WRONG) No… Oh Billy, nooo! YEAH! Yeaahh~! Suck it, game! 18+ sword throw? Fuck yeah I am an 18+’er. I am all the adult (My eyes! MY EYES!!!) *Nervous laughter* Uh okay, block your eyes Shield your eyes everybody! Don’t look! *Smooth music. ♪Oh yeah, baby, baby♪* *Smooth music. ♪Oh yeah, baby, baby♪* (Who’s getting the presents now?) Oh, I can actually sword throw these guys Stop having sex! *Gasp* Look where I got him! (M-m-m-m-MONSTERKILL!!!) Look where I got him, right in the neck! He’s still having sex though… STOP IT!! I hit the suicide button. At least it sounds like they’re having fun. *Weird accent* I’m a dinosaur (Dinosaur Count: 1) I’m a dinosaur (Dinosaur Count: 2) Brring I’m a dinosaur! (Dinosaur Count: 3) DIE x1 DIE x2 I’m a dinosaur! (Dinosaur Count: 4) Don’t you know who I am? Oh, Mr. Axe Man. Hello! Outta my way! Ge-ge-ge-ge! Ge-ge-ge-ge! AH DIE EVERYBODY! Oh your head came off! Just like I planned! I’m a dinosaur! (Dinosaur Count: 5) Get outta the way! I am a close relative of Bernie.(Dinosaur Count… 6?) Bernie is my friend. Best music ever! I feel so accomplished Wa! Uh! Ah! I’m not even grabbing balls now. Ha-ha, that’s what she said You see wassup? Do you see wassup? When Jacksepticeye get’s in to play a game, it’s just instant win all around! I fucking win at life! *WTF AM I WATCHING* Es-capé! I’ll escape. I’ll escape real good *Mumbeling* Oh! I can escape! Yeah! YEAH!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?! You thought you had me bested, game! You said, “You know what, Jack? I’m gonna put you in a situation you can’t get out of!” “NOBODY can get out of this situtation!” And Jack came in and he said, “You know what?!” “What’s up?!?” BOOM! Finished the level in fucking 7.6 SECONDS! (its 7.06 seconds) ASSASSIN HUSBAND I’m not a husband yet… …but if I was, I would be an assassin kind! … Oh, hey! (silly laughter) I think they call this position… T​‌HE BACKWARDS RODEO DILDO BRIGADE AH, NO! I FOR- I missed the axe again! *groans in agony* (in Crocker accent) I sorry wife! I really wanted to kill your friend. (it sounds like Crocker to me) You cheating on me? DAH! Take that knees to the face! Yeah, take that! I’m gonna take your champagne, and I’m gonna break it off the table, and POP YOUR HEAD OFF!! Yeah, you try to sleep with my WIFE?! Take that Billy, you little BITCH! YEAH I GOT IT!!! Gah-hah! GOD!!! I got the axe, and I’m the only one who lost an arm?! That is BULLSHIT! *scream, jackaboy, scream* Yeah, take that! SUPER MAN HUG! Suplex! YEAH I PUMPED YOUR HEAD OFF! You like that, bitch? You like that? HUH? HUH? x2 HUH? x3 This is my head dance! This is how I party with your head, look! *damn fine music* UGH! Gonna hump your head! *grunting* Yeah, it feels so good! Do you like that?! HUH? x4 HUH? x5 DO YA? DO YA??? Well, that’s the end of my Happy Wheels adventures! This game is awesome! This game was designed for me. This fits my style of… commentary PERFECTLY. But, I hoped you guys liked this! I put it up on Facebook a while ago that I- I was thinking about playing it and a lot of you guys commented on it, a lot more than the comments that I usually get, saying: “yeah jack!” “GO for it!” “play it jack” “DO IT” “It’ll be really good!” So… I hope I did the game justice, but THANK YOU GUYS so much for watching this video! If you liked it, punch that like button UP! THE ASS! LIKE A BOSS! And, high fives all around! *whoops* *whoops* Well, thank you guys and I will SEE ALL YOU DUDES… IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!!!

100 thoughts on “Happy Wheels – Part 1 | THIS GAME IS MY BITCH”

  1. Colby Hill says:

    Ah 2013, simpler times indeed.

  2. makayla sheffield says:

    2013: top of the morning to ya laddies

    2019: DING DING IRELAND TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA IRISH NOISES

  3. Rinx and Łongnallow Gaming says:

    Part 1:cares so much to billy
    Part50 to 100:DIE BILLY! DIEEEEEEEE!

  4. Xxp3achy blamsxX says:

    2019 anyone?

  5. Emily Bradley says:

    Coming back to watch all of these the time is 14:13

  6. Emily Bradley says:

    Coming back to watch all of these the time is 14:13

  7. Ej Howard says:

    It’s so weird to see the old him

  8. GamerGirlMaria1 says:

    send help im sad now

  9. Spaghetti says:

    2013: top of the morning to ya laddies!
    2019: DINGDINGDINGDING TOP OF MORNING QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

  10. Dethstroke gaming says:

    Did anyone realize he didn,t kill Billy on his first sword throw.

  11. Prïñcëšš Hãÿłëÿ Höłt says:

    Why is there subtitles

  12. vid126 _Youtube says:

    wow he chaged

  13. Hydreigon Commander 204 says:

    4:38 and thats how Happy Meals are made…. IM LOVIN IT!!!!! BADABABABA!!!!!!

  14. hhhgff ndjjd says:

    I realised he has played this before because it doesnt auto go to rating

  15. Yeet boi says:

    2013 jack: top of the mornin to you laddies my name is jackcepticeye

    2019 jack: BING BONG BING BONG welcome back to another episode of minecraft

  16. Selena Espinoza says:

    The beginning…

  17. Xhelloxshane X says:

    Beginning of the best series ever

  18. Daryissaplayz 231 says:

    As the time I watched the last vid was today… I am rewatching it all!

  19. itsyaboilayne 22 says:

    Just watched episode 100 and decided to restart again! Like i u agree

  20. Red Stone says:

    These were the good old days…

  21. PotatoChipGamer Plays says:

    Top of the mornin to you too😥

  22. Ghoul Slayor says:

    2019…. Pewds at 100 mil and ur doing a Minecraft collab with him…

  23. Aidan says:

    Hello I'm from the future sksksk and I oop you do very well in life and get 22 mill subs good luck baby Jackaboy

  24. Literal Trash says:

    Before demonization

  25. Oliver Arthur Ilves says:

    This was good content. I can't bear with the gay shit that he posts now

  26. KC The Gamer says:

    That quiet intro. This is baby Sean.

  27. grape gaming says:

    so it begins…

  28. Trash-Chan says:

    "I never played Happy Wheels"
    Oh past Jack,little did you know

  29. Zachary Meyer says:

    4:33 his reaction is priceless. I miss baby Jack.

  30. The SCP Foundation says:

    1:15 who else was suprised to hear jacksepticeye swear, cause you
    weren't used to it?

  31. Jessica’s Channel says:

    He missed ninja

  32. gacha niomi says:

    1:20 XD

  33. Dat fello I.T says:

    content.

  34. Chloe Fire says:

    Me when trying to do a pushup- 5:33

  35. Lilith [Alien hybrid goddess] {SCP-5002} says:

    2 hours ago I felt like absolute bullsh*t and now……..

    I feel good jack ye made my day! ^^

  36. Ryan Cornwell says:

    September 2019 still watching

  37. photos by james says:

    I wish he would play this a again who is here re watching?

  38. Derpy Pigeon says:

    “NOOO BILLY NOOO!”
    a few minutes later
    “TAKE THAT BILLY YA LITTLE BITCH”

  39. Anonymous Assistant says:

    He looks sooooo young

  40. Corey says:

    SIX
    years ago already!?

  41. canned bread says:

    literally the first gamer I watched back then 😍

  42. LAL0R PLAYZ says:

    Guys turn on subtitles trust me

  43. Shmudis Shurdis says:

    I think this jack is better then new jack srry to say

  44. Taylor Rhodes says:

    Jack 2013: Calm and collected Top of the Morning

    Jack Now: TOP OF THE iSDFBQSDBFHDFDSBFHDBFDBSFHBWESDBHDFBEWIBISB

  45. Lord Megatron says:

    Starts With Bmx Ends With "Jacksepticeye" 100"

  46. Sin Scrivener says:

    7:34 Me: Thinking I'm done with the test
    7:38 Me: Sees more on the backside

  47. Max Lenosky says:

    Epic kid

  48. Hollow Bones1 says:

    4:37 thats ever McDonald's

  49. Jacob Hicks says:

    So this is where it all began

  50. Ren Tran says:

    11:32 "Sleep on my wife"

  51. Derrick Turpin says:

    And soo it began

  52. Greg McLeod says:

    I was attracted by Happy wheels fascinating gameplay on 88kgames.

  53. Yuri Sarelin says:

    you have big fat tits
    3:22

  54. death Uchiha says:

    2019

  55. Peace Prevails says:

    Such a classic! Love and respect from India!

  56. mm mm says:

    Ah the good old days!

  57. Shugo Tenshi says:

    Here comes the 2019 binge watching

  58. Mr. Teleport says:

    12:12 close your eyes and let your brain imagine everything 😉

  59. Lara Zhang says:

    The start of a legend….

  60. Kaylee Chiapa bendito says:

    2019? Anyone??

  61. Korbin Stansbery says:

    2019 anyone?

  62. please sub says:

    Put captions on

  63. Aiden Barker says:

    he sounds so much more different after almost 6 years.

  64. ineedtowait90daystoochangemyname says:

    Take a shot everytime you see 2019 in the comments you will be just fine…

  65. THE MAN IN THE CHICKEN COSTUME says:

    the tiny boiii

  66. silent ninja says:

    2013 Jack:top of the morning
    2019 Jack: DING DING DING DING TOP OF MORNING

  67. Nicks Vlogs fishing channel says:

    7:11 he missed the Ninja

  68. DropDash says:

    0:00 A tale of an Irishman's adventure has begun…

  69. Torpifys says:

    I miss this jack… he never wears his hat now

  70. Tyler josephs A coward says:

    I only just started watching him but wow he's amazing

  71. Ghostcos. Heehee says:

    HES JUST A BABY HERE 🥺

  72. Cayden Carroll says:

    4:46 "Here's your meal have a nice day!"

  73. Disclosed Empathy says:

    His intro was so mellow

  74. Senior Noscope says:

    Who else came back 6 years later to watch this?

  75. Senior Noscope says:

    This video marked history

  76. Jake Draws says:

    Binge.

  77. Call_Me_Swazy says:

    And thus,a legend was born

  78. Chrysalism_x says:

    Billy and bobby = bike
    Pete = Pogo
    Steve = Segway
    Willy = Wheelchair
    Larry = Lawnmower
    Mike and Mary = Motorcycle
    Harry = Helicopter
    Santa = Sleigh

    Then there’s Betty
    Betty owns a shopping cart
    That does not begin with B.

  79. Ayden Plays says:

    Watch 3:29 with eyes closed

  80. Ayden Plays says:

    3:20 with eyes closed

  81. gun master army says:

    Anybody else re watching the whole series because they miss happy wheels?

  82. Zoey Caitlin says:

    Nostalgia wh-

  83. Ash Wolfe says:

    :0 2013??!!!!! WHAT:0

  84. Ash Wolfe says:

    9:21 turn on auto captions '-'

    It isntreally funny but I still laughed XD

  85. Yo Sup says:

    Don't worry the added audio effects are fine

  86. 5vintege ! says:

    It's so sad to think about this

  87. Mythetical says:

    BMX STUNT !!! is the best level on Happy Wheels.

  88. Creeper Girl 43 says:

    2019 watcher he’s grown so much

  89. Anthony Weber says:

    Happy I wasn't the only one coming back to these videos after years

  90. Deplexer says:

    The subtitles make this even more enjoyable…

  91. Jimbo's land of awesomeness says:

    2013 Jack: Top of the morning to you laddies

    2019 Garlic Gladiator: DING DING DING TOP OF MORNING

  92. WAR-TORN gaming says:

    2019

  93. That_Lit_Banana says:

    Ahhh my favourite jack, the one l grew up watching 🙂

  94. Joe says:

    WOW
    Memories just pure happy memories

  95. Potentially Polite says:

    Wht-what the ?!!

  96. Deshaun says:

    And this was the start of a legendary series

  97. bill cage 32 says:

    And so it begins……

  98. Supereme Society says:

    Jack: Falls off Building Balcony a Second Time to Try and Kill Someone

    The Person Jack is Trying to Kill: Sucks Jack's Dick when Jack Falls to the Bottom of the Building

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