Kinder Guardians | Who Is America? | Sacha Baron Cohen SHOWTIME Series
Kinder Guardians | Who Is America? | Sacha Baron Cohen SHOWTIME Series


[speaking Hebrew] My name– Colonel Erran Morad. I am the terrorist terminator. [gunshot] In America, there is big problem
of shootings in schools. The NRA want to arm
the teachers. This is crazy. They should be arming
the children. Yalla!
Let’s go! ♪ hard rock music ♪ ♪♪♪ To get deadly weapons
into the hands of America’s schoolchildren, I needed the help of gun-rights
hero Philip Van Cleave. My next guest
is a gun-rights advocate who says the Bushmaster
semi-automatic rifle, the type of rifle
that Adam Lanza used to kill 20 children
and six more adults, is “a blast to shoot with. Guns are fun. Some of them are much
more cool than others.” Are you proud
of what you said? It’s just a fact. In America, there have been
a lot of shootings in the school and in the university. What do the liberals say
is the reason for this and the solution? Well, they blame it on guns.
[scoffs] Yeah, it’s crazy,
because people– They blame it on the guns?
Yes. [speaking Hebrew]
Meshugge.
Yes, it is. We start
a program in Israel for kinder-guardians.
Okay. We train them from the age
16 down to the age three. Yeah, well, I-I think
it would be a-a good idea. We– We’ve been
pushing something along this line for years, but really haven’t gotten
any traction with it. We were thinking seventh
or eighth grade. You’re talking
much younger than that. My son was
in the very first program. May he rest in peace. Uh, he died
doing what I love. Yeah, they haven’t
quite developed, uh, what we call “conscience,”
where you– you feel guilty about
doing something wrong. That’s developing.
You’re learning right and wrong. If they haven’t
developed that yet, they could be
very effective soldiers. This year,
in our state government, they had a bill put in that
would have made it illegal for someone four years old
to 12 years old to have access to a gun. Oh, we killed–
We killed the bill.
What? They tried to stop
four-year-old children from having access
to guns? Yes. Yes. What is the logic
that these people come up with? They just think that children,
uh, can’t handle them. We want three-year-olds
who are real experts at what they’re doing,
not three-year-olds who are reckless.
Yeah. And we don’t teach
two-year-olds, because they call it the
“terrible twos” for a reason. Yes, there’s a reason.
Yes. So, I would like you to help me
do instructional video for three-year-olds. Okay. ♪ whimsical music ♪ ♪♪♪ [school bell rings] Shalom, children. My name Erran Morad. I here to show you that guns,
when used responsibly, with training from grown-ups, can help keep you safe
in your school. Here to help teach you
is Philip Van Cleave. Not every strange man
you meet gonna be friendly and non-threatening like me. Today,
we’re going to teach you how you can stop
these naughty men and have them
take a long nap. That’s right, and that’s
why you’re going to meet a friend of mine. His name is Puppy Pistol.
[dog barks] Now, Philip, will you show us
how to feed Puppy Pistol? To feed him,
take his lunchbox and push it into his tummy,
like this. Just remember to point
Puppy Pistol’s mouth right at the middle
of the bad man. If he has a big, fat tummy,
point at that. [laughs] Great! It’s fun.
Okay. Puppy Pistol is part
of a whole group of new friends that your parents can get you
called Gunimals. Wouldn’t you love to meet
this little Gunny Rabbit? He’s ready to put the naughty
man on a very long time-out. How about the magical Uzicorn? Well, this is one for the girls. It’s a lovely little unicorn
that you can play with. Dino-Gun can stop
an entire crowd of bad men. And, tots,
you’ve got to learn that Dino-Gun eats and spits
his candy really, really fast. Rocket Ship RPG
will take you to the moon. Or, rather, the bad guys
are going to the moon, if they attack your school
with a truckful of big, scary fireworks. And introducing BFF, a starter gun for infants
24 months and under. BFF is so easy to fire,
even a baby can use it. BFF wants to help you pull
the string on a bad guy. Make bang-bang. ♪ whimsical music ♪ [to the tune of “Head,
Shoulders, Knees, and Toes”]
♪ Aim at the head, shoulders ♪ ♪ Not the toes ♪ ♪ Not the toes ♪
Fire! ♪ Head, shoulders,
not the toes ♪ ♪ Not the toes ♪
Fire! ♪ Eyes, ears,
and belly and nose ♪ ♪ Head, shoulders,
not the toes ♪ ♪ Not the toes ♪
Fire! [Erran] Now that I had
a common-sense training video, it was time to take it
to the nation’s capital. I just arrived
in Washington to see if someone will back
my kinder-guardians program. I needed to find politicians
who would fight for the Second Amendment right
of toddlers to bear firearms at preschool. So I met
with lobbyist Larry Pratt, director
of Gun Owners of America, which have
1.5 million brave members. The evil’s in our hearts,
not in the guns. Do you think the liberals
are using these school shootings to further
their anti-tragedy agenda? They’re trying,
but it’s– it’s not that hard
to find a student who does think that way, because that’s what they’re
being taught in the schools. We actually found out
that, in schools, it not only important
to arm the teachers– important to arm
certain gifted children. Oh, that’s great. We train from 16-year-old,
uh, up to four years old. This segment
of the conversation would
absolutely cause heads to explode
here in this country. Not all.
Why? Because they will
be shot or… Because that they’re–
they’re so prejudiced against young people
having guns, and especially
in a school. The only thing that stop
a bad man with a gun is a good boy with a gun. Yeah.
Uh, even a good toddler. Exactly.
A toddler. Really. The great thing
about toddlers is, they don’t have
any fear of guns. This fear is really given
to you by the media. That’s a good point. Well, if they hear somebody
shouting, “Allahu Akbar,” they’re likely to
instinctively go for that gun. We had one problem
with this. There was a Muslim gardener
who was praying, and he said, “Allahu Akbar,”
and he got– He got shot. [laughing] Pray in– Pray in secret. Women need a gun, you know. My wife, she have a gun. And she shot me once. You know, what can I do? I get horny in the middle
of the night, but it’s not, uh, rape
if it’s your wife, eh? [both laugh] Right? Right? That probably won’t be
on the video we send to the Hill. Oh, no, no, no.
[laughs] What do I need in order
to introduce this program into America? There are
a few members of Congress that, I think,
would be as receptive to what you’re doing
as I have been. I’d be very happy to see
if we could get them interested, to set some time aside.
Great. Let’s see if we can stop
these anti-gun people from getting
everyone killed.
Yeah. Yeah, they’ve got blood
on their hands. Now that I had
this Pratt on board, I was welcomed into
the halls of Congress, where I sat down with
a House representative and outlined
my common-sense proposal. Oh, the– the– You want me
to say on television that I support
three- and four-year-olds with firearms? Is that what you’re
asking me to do? Uh, yes.
Hmm. You can…
Typically, members of Congress
don’t just hear a story about a program
and then indicate whether they support it
or not. I support
the kinder-guardians program. We, in America, would be wise
to implement it, too. It’s something that we should
think about, America, about putting guns in the hands
of law-abiding citizens, good guys,
whether they be teachers or whether they actually be
talented children or highly trained preschoolers. Maybe having many young people
trained and understand how to defend themselves
in their school might actually
make us safer here. A three-year-old cannot defend
itself from an assault rifle by throwing
a Hello Kitty pencil case at it. Our Founding Fathers
did not put an age limit on the Second Amendment. The intensive three-week
kinder-guardian course introduces
specially selected children from 12 to four years old
to pistols, rifles, semi-automatics, and a rudimentary
knowledge of mortars. In less than a month,
less than a month, a first grader can become
a first grenader. Toddlers are pure, uncorrupted
by fake news or homosexuality. They don’t worry if it’s
politically correct to shoot a mentally deranged gunman. They’ll just do it. The science behind
this program is proven. At age four,
a child processes images 80% faster than an adult, meaning that, essentially,
like owls, they can see in slow-motion. Children under five
also have elevated levels of the pheromone Blink-182, produced by the part of the
liver known as the Rita Ora. This allows nerve reflexes to travel along
the Cardi B neural pathway, to the Wiz Khalifa 40% faster, saving time and saving lives. When it comes to the safety
of our children… The way
to stop bad guy with a gun… Is a good kid with a gun. A g-good kid with a gun. A good child with a gun. Happy shooting, kids.

100 thoughts on “Kinder Guardians | Who Is America? | Sacha Baron Cohen SHOWTIME Series”

  1. Asteroid Arts says:

    Walks like a Russian. Just missing his Adidas tracksuits 🤣🤣

  2. RENEHIKO says:

    Gunimals… xD

  3. Derrick Khroun says:

    Hhahhhhahahahahhhhahahahha

  4. Derrick Khroun says:

    The cardi b Neuro path way hahhhahhhha

  5. aidantt says:

    Omg wtf is running that country 😂😂

  6. YogiDevendra Biriyani says:

    ♪♫♬ Who's side are you on…who's side are you on…. ♪♫♬

  7. Metro Macklmore says:

    After I watch this Libya is safer than America I said to myself well if America is home of entertaining and an American Dream is not American Dream anymore yes we have our own problem and Libya but is not moral problem

  8. Valair says:

    AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH AHAHAHAHA

  9. VitorPh3nom says:

    That blink-182 part killed me.

  10. kibu says:

    Is a 3 year old, itself or themselves??

  11. kibu says:

    I have now started believing fully in evolution because Americans are getting dumber

  12. Andrew_Owens says:

    100% of Trump voters are being 40% effected by their WIz Khalifa! This must be stopped!

  13. WaitingToFade says:

    "Typically members of Congress don't just hear a story about a program and then indicate whether they support it or not." Dude, that's exactly what all your peers did!

  14. attila limbu says:

    a 1st grader can be a 1st grenader…interesting quote!!!

  15. ahmed hossam says:

    after watching this i think what will really end the american empire is a civil war

  16. jonebundy says:

    Americas dumbness exposed ! Sasha is the best.

  17. Tenth Man says:

    Not the toes, not the toes.

  18. Thestripper says:

    It is fantastic!

  19. Thumbelllina says:

    '' Even a toddler''… OMFG! The way that lizard, leathered faced guy laughs when he hears about someone praying being killed…

  20. Simon Topspread Plastering says:

    I am amazed!!

  21. Nicholas Roux says:

    Is this real?

  22. Ajmal safi says:

    The greatest coutry in the world!!! &
    These are their representatives !!!

  23. EbbtideCheque says:

    O.m.g. that dude seriously laughing over what he thought was a real toddler kid that was killed. Da fuq. 🧐🤨😫😑

  24. manamal769 says:

    Gunimals!!! LMFAOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♂️

  25. manamal769 says:

    Larry Pratt and the rest of those congressman are sick old bastards smh 🤦🏾‍♂️ but these are some the men who run America.

  26. manamal769 says:

    Unfknbelievable !!!

  27. Smoke1 for the dead homies says:

    “It’s fun!!!” Hahahahah how am I just now finding out about this

  28. Chaos Tade says:

    what he says at 1:55 leaves me speechless. I cant believe he said that. Its unreal.

  29. STACKS MOUNTAIN says:

    🙊🙉🙈™

  30. MrAndrewrock says:

    "In less than a month a first grader can become a first grenader"
    Priceless.

  31. Aziz Light says:

    wtf

  32. Sergio Betancur says:

    And rudimentary knowledge of mortars

  33. Ivan77 Searlo says:

    What jacket is he wearing at 5:23 anyone?

  34. 18matts says:

    8:08 is where the video starts guys.

  35. BaconWaffle says:

    lol the guy knew it was a troll when the uzi came out

  36. BaconWaffle says:

    WOW WOWOW WOWOWOWOWOWOW HAPPY SHOOTING KIDS?!?!?!?!!?

  37. BaconWaffle says:

    this has to be scripted, its to blatant

  38. bdProductions | Music For Videos says:

    This guy has balls the size of Texas.

  39. bdProductions | Music For Videos says:

    Oh jesus 9:28 to the end is all you need. Unbelievable.

  40. bdProductions | Music For Videos says:

    A first grader… can become a first grenadier. Jesus Christ…..

  41. MoonWalkerTexsRanger says:

    This whole video is glorious, but man, Erran Morrad walking on pedestrian crossing had me rolling on the floor every time!

  42. sty zor says:

    ERRAN lol

  43. jay says:

    Legendary!!!

  44. shani erez private e-mail address. shani erez. says:

    Sheket tsair!!!!!loollllll

  45. SicK_SKITSO says:

    Protect are gun rights!

  46. Olivia Haglund says:

    I cannot believe he agreed to do a children's fake PSA on how to handle guns. Unreal

  47. Vignesh kamath says:

    'May he rest in peace, he died what I love'! I died!😂

  48. Alex Boze says:

    "Uncorrupted by fake news & homosexuality"… Good God, how do these guys not see this!?

  49. Klaus Kircchoff says:

    THIS IS AMERICA! at least half of it!

  50. Greg Z Fainberg says:

    This is called fake outrage creation. Ironically this is less funny and more ridiculous and helps to further cultural prejudices. I'm still surprised that people believe this kind of format much less not recognize Sacha Baron Cohen. Personally I think this is all Fake News cocreated by Sacha and his contacts all used to create artificial outrage to keep the American public preoccupied with fake problems. I hope people can see through the nonsense.

  51. musanto yyc says:

    Wow he even got them to admit its scientific proven

  52. Hardrisht Chawla says:

    Wow, these guys have sold themselves to the devil. May God bless america.

  53. truth conscience says:

    This video has been here for more than an year and I am shocked that the people are not terrified of this thought of arming the toddlers which some former politicians support as if it is normal. Is it not shocking enough?

  54. boywonderx says:

    he is so underrated

  55. S Tman says:

    You know… they call it the terrible twos for a reason LMFAO!

  56. BFB-DanceySteve says:

    Watch out for those 12 to 4yrs olds!

  57. Nate Burk says:

    “And a rudimentary knowledge of mortars…” My Cardi B pathways approve.

  58. S M says:

    Americans are crazy

  59. Mr. TopRamen says:

    Some kids are responsible enough to handle firearms, there have been many cases where children and young teens have used guns on intruders to protect themselves where otherwise they would’ve been defenseless, but on the other hand some kids eat tide pods 🤷🏻‍♂️

  60. Paddy Theosophist says:

    What great leaders of America setting a fine example and standards for the people. God Bless America!

  61. Gyrbae says:

    Mexico should pay for the wall. They need to be secured from these insane americans. Some of them are good people, I guess, but they're not sending their best. Believe me.

  62. PAvS Official says:

    6.07 Is where realised how freaking deluded some
    people are

  63. Kale Flower says:

    This is unreal.

  64. phuzzz82 says:

    honestly these guy needs to be put in a mental home

  65. William Harpine says:

    It's awful that Matt Gaetz was the sanest of the bunch. That's a very low bar.

  66. William Harpine says:

    The best video in the history of videos.

  67. Amirreza Hashemi says:

    ultra chad walk at 0:34

  68. James Lind says:

    If you don't understand why America has a staggering murder rate and daily mass shootings, you will after watching this. UNBELIEVABLE.

  69. Mario Neziri says:

    Omg….

  70. afyon afyon says:

    these people are the reason america is falling behind and losing its hegemony in the world

  71. Tom Tobin says:

    😂

  72. Life is gooodd says:

    Rudy ayoub are you there?

  73. Pimpjit85 says:

    If only Sachas son developed conscious he'd still be alive

  74. Hassan Ali says:

    Boun Rami Raja G 🤣

  75. Marek Novák says:

    3:24 😀

  76. jörg methfessel says:

    the sad and terrifying thing is: they REALLY discuss this!

  77. Blaze says:

    LMFAO His pants tucked in his boots got me weak

  78. Verbo di Dio says:

    Luv ya Ali G,my favorite goofball lol.

  79. ClaudeSac says:

    At 9:29 I Lolled … WTF does homosexuality have to do with anything here!

  80. Liquid Todd says:

    "…and a rudimentary knowledge of mortars." Are Republicans completely out of their minds?

  81. Cystro says:

    mah wife

  82. John Wood says:

    This is terrible. Terribly scary. This is America. This is trump's America.
    But man, these videos are glorious. How revealing 🙏

  83. Daragh Logan says:

    how stupid can Americans be?

  84. muhammad zulariffin says:

    Freddie mercury

  85. Spencer Whiteout says:

    This show is insane.

  86. Sniperlord says:

    10:04
    Cardi B neuropathway to the Wiz Khalifa ?? xDDDDDD

  87. Sourabh Roddey says:

    Mexico said they are ready to build the wall. Just keep these idiots out

  88. Bloodylaser says:

    Matt Gaetz outsmarted him.

  89. Torben Rudgaard says:

    How do he get these politicians to say this? I mean they are not really known for humor or irony? Are they paid to do this or are they really so easy to fool?

  90. David David says:

    It is unbelievable just how stupid these americans are.

    Unbelievable.

  91. Tai Tihema says:

    Jre sent me

  92. PhoenixDieRise says:

    "My son was in the very first program, may he rest in peace. He died doing what 'I' love" omg 😂

  93. Imran Saleem says:

    And this country is suppose to save the World!

    OMG

  94. Jamie Angel says:

    freddy mercury

  95. Positive Vibes says:

    I’m starting to think that more guns is the only answer

  96. JAX says:

    Americans couldn't be any more stupid.

  97. Spider says:

    Laugh or cry? Laugh or cry? Why not both?

  98. callmethebozz says:

    he could hide an m16 behind that tie

  99. American Enigma _ says:

    Did he really say “ pray in secret “ and laughed at a person getting killed praying mistakingly ….. 👀🙄 , who made these people Elected representives of government…. 🤯🤯 , they are insane psychos with hateful agendas and prejudices secretly ,,,,thnx to Sacha for exposing their real self

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